samedi 21 septembre 2013

The crisis in family life



Image:© goodluz/ Fotolia
The crisis have its principles. The most commonsymptoms are:
- Complete lack of fights between spouses or the opposite – the fights are over the permissible limits;
- In the conflict (being not constructive) everybody insists on his own opinion and does not try to understand the other one;
- In the communication more are the protective-aggressive reactions: everybody blames the other one for the fight;
- Refusing sex by one of the partners;
- The man is replaced by the woman in taking the decisions;
- The man fails alone to solve the household problems and closes in himself;
- Being stuck in a topic or otherwise – no talking at all;
- The  woman stops thinking about herself and devotes herself to her family turning into a “slave”;
- Workaholism. More often of it suffer those who cannot confirm themselves in the family, especially men.
The crisis of the family life has its own periods. If one time the behavior of one partner is strange it is worth thinking whether they are related to namely the occurrence of a crisis.
First year – first family crisis 
It is caused by different habits and different characters. He is a “lark”, she e is an “owl”. He causes a mess, she cleans. He is more frugal, she spends more. If people are in love this crisis is easily overcome.
Third – fourth year – the crisis of the first child
The wife is swamped by the pregnancy and after that of by the child. The man needs more attention and he jealous by the child. He is not satisfied sexually and sees in her half more flaws, he is often irritated by her attitude and is more prone to cheat.
The wife is nervous, tortured by doubt and fights a lot. If she can find in her willingness to pay more attention to her husband or at least explain that less attention doesn’t mean less love, the crisis will be solved.
Fifth year – the crisis of the coming back
The reason for it Is by the woman – she turns back to the active work life and her social life after the birth of the child. And she starts to understand she cannot deal with many things. Before her there is the difficult task to keep the family comfort, to pay attention to her child and man, to execute her work obligations and look as she wants to look. The new life after the prison is accompanied by acute necessity of new emotions. This is the reason for the cheating of the wife during this period. Men should be very careful to cope with the situation successfully.
The seventh year – the crisis of the monotony
Everything is settled: household, intimate relations, communication, work. According to the statistics, during this period initiators for divorces are women. The man and the woman have had too much of one another. More men complain their wives do not share the amusements and ignore their romantic needs and this is why they find lovers who once again make them feel “hunters”. The husband has no intentions of leaving his wife and upon serious threat of disclosure easily separates with his lover. He cannot so easily break his home, family, the lifestyle because he appreciates his efforts to achieve it too much. Women should fight the monotony and uniformity and appreciate what is already achieved.
The fourteenth yearthe crisis of the 40-year olds
By reaching 40 even spouses who lived well often have a serious crisis. With the wife it is related to the approaching climax and the increased irritability. Every fifth man on average, between the age of 40 and 50, contracts new marriage. More than half marry younger women with 15-20 years and the others change partners often. There is an opinion that the “rebellion of the 40 year olds” is the male version of climax, to the reaction of the hormonal “rearrangement:  but most scientists think the fear is the cause of all of this. The man starts realizing life passes and nothing new will happen again. Similar thoughts cause hidden neurosis.
The easiest and most elementary way to fight fear is to create an illusion for youthfulness. The mid-life crisis is a burden to men and women. Since you have spent together so many years, you have created a home and raised children, this means you could deal with this crisis as well. This is possible upon wish by both and mutual efforts.

The crisis in the family life is objective. Just as objective are the ways to overcome. If you deal with this on time and together, you can achieve more.

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