Second marriages are more successful

Image:© WavebreakmediaMicro / Fotolia

Listen to the contemporary funny songs and you will see that love is not what it was – a dream that ends up with a wedding invitation. Nowadays, if there is love, it meets the real life and because life is not easy, love is not that serene.

Statistics show that more people love strongly but at two times the most, only marriages are very rare.

And here is the question: what happens the second time?

Because no matter how seemingly easy today people separate and divorce, the living together with another partner is not easy. Sometimes many years pass until a person decides to risk again. And if the first time things were almost a joke, the second marriage is much more serious and substantial than the first one. The failure and bitterness have caused big trauma to both spouses. Regarding the stress it causes, divorce is second after death of a close person. After this painful moment we turn to 180 degrees aiming to avoid new disappointment.

In the first marriage we are more like idealists. We marry someone not because we like them that way but because we want them to be another one in the future. This is our mistake. In these days of trembling and expectations we hope to change the other one and model it as we like. It happens sometimes but others the fiasco is complete. The second time we marry a “reality” after all the ghosts of the past have vanished.

Maybe it is sand as an establishment but marriage or relationship is based on the sense which has much more success than feelings. Love is more valuable, specific. This is why sexually partners seek more intimacy, more erotic relations, an attempt to give and receive optimally.

The second time usually we are obsessed of the thought of motherhood and fatherhood. From the previous marriage everybody has already child or children.

Statistics show that every third couple nowadays ends up in divorce. Officially women divorce when they are about 35-37 year-old, men a little after 40, averagely after 14 years of marriage. In Bulgaria many marriages end up after 20 years of married life which means that when something is wrong, neither habit nor acquiescence can help and sooner or later the bomb explodes.